Broken

Well it has been a few weeks of the same old shit, I say I want to do it, and I still eat crap. I am struggling and I mean really struggling. In the last week I have had a back injury and also had another tooth out. My body feels like it is not mine and that I am not connected to it.

There is always some reason why I wont start today and currently it is Christmas, but honestly it could be anything.

Food is my big problem and I struggle with what to do to control that.
calorie counting

• I don't like numbers and they scare me, so it makes me anxious
•  It doesn't seem to bother me if I go over
• I never really know what level I should sit on
• To do it properly I would have to weigh stuff etc etc and that seems like hard work to me

Paleo/Clean eating

• Coming up with ideas
• portion size

In general

• what to eat and when to eat
• portion size
• variety

I am so full of excuses, and yet I just don't seem to be able to push past them. I don't understand why it is so hard to get something you actually say you want.

feeling lost and vulnerable, I am not overly sure how to start or how to get out of my funk.

One of the girls posted this on facebook and I really liked it there are so many things that move me, this is just one of them http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja9BFx5Mhqo.

I am still trying and I am still looking, I will get there.