I started today with boot camp and boxing, and I had attitude, princess attitude lol. I was so frustrated with myself as it is so obvious to me how much fitness I have lost recently, I am annoyed that I have allowed myself to sink back into the pit of unhealthy-ness I find myself in once again.
This afternoon it was Alexy's first dance concert, they performed on Thursday night as well, I didn't watch Thursday, rather I helped out the back. Today I was all excited to see her perform, and I sit down in the seat and bugger my butt doesn't fit, that may not be quite what I thought lol. Again that feeling of disgust, failure dread and the tears where there ready to go.
Somewhere this afternoon I decided that I will not be beaten and I am only human, I will slip up, oh well so what pick up lets go and move on. I will not allow myself to be consumed and stopped by the negative, it is now on my list of reasons I want to be healthy, I will use it to motivate me so I don't have to feel this again.
Tomorrow morning I have the last fitness test for the challenge with Matt Silk, I am aware that this is not going to be pretty, I have allowed my excuses to take control lately and have not achieved any of the things I set out to at the start of this 12 weeks. So tomorrow is the bench mark for me to get healthy from, it will not be a negative for me, I can choose to wallow in the fact that I have not used my time to achieve what I want, or I can use the time coming up to achieve what I want. Seems rather straight forward when you think of it that way.