Wednesday, 21 November 2012

5 days.....then it falls apart

I would hate to be my life coach, I don't do any of the things I say I will, I don't do anything of the things I think I need to do to help me move on from being controlled by food and my eating habits.

I did so well for 5 days and then crapola, there doesn't seem to be any real reason, other than organization and planning. The days are different and more things happen and I find it harder to be on top of it all. Since it has gone to crap I have made no effort to bring it back into line. Then the bulk of the family caught Gastro. I seemed to get a bad run, and for about 4 or 5 days I didn't eat much, other than bread, then last night another gall stone attack, that's two in about two weeks.I haven't had an attack for such a long time, and this one stopped me from going to bootcamp. My body is all over the place, it doesn't know if it is Arthur or Martha.

I have done this to myself,  I have used enough excuses to sink a battle ship, even my excuses have excuses. I have hidden, I have run away and most of all I have made my body unhealthy. Matt Silk posted on Facebook this morning, and it really struck a cord with me and made me acknowledge some stuff.
 "cut the BS & excuses ... Just do it!!!"

After last night, I have changed my focus to health and supporting my body. Weight loss can no longer be my focus, it doesn't make me look after my body, often it makes me fight against and punish my body. It is never about feeling better, it is always about going further, lifting more and getting smaller. Feels like I have missed the point.

So given how bad I am at following my own advice, I have decided to go back thru all my posts and write it all in one spot. See where that goes, and what I need to do, but there is not more BS and excuses, now it is just about being healthy. 

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