Friday, 13 April 2012

Great Expectations

Well since my last post I am still struggling with food in actual fact I have gotten worse. It has just been Easter and that really didn't help to try and focus my attention on getting back on track. My mind was starting to become clouded and I was starting to feel like I wasn't able to do this. I have spent much of today really thinking and analysing this as there has to be a reason, some underlying pay off for the eating.

Again for me it seems to come down to the expectations I have of myself, I have such high expectations and to be honest and logical they are completely un-achievable, things like expecting to be able to lift heavy weights quickly and to lose big numbers weight loss wise and to be within a health weight loss range. Due to my expectations being so high I am constantly failing, and so now I just believe I will fail. I hate the idea of failing and so it is easier for me to sabotage myself rather than risk failing. I know that seem stupid, but by sabotaging I am controlling the fact that I will fail so I don't have to fear it because I know it will happen.

The reality of this situation is that truthfully I am not failing, I am achieving, just not to the stupid level I expect of myself, things that I would never expect of anyone else. So how do I get myself to see that??

There were a few things that helped me to level myself out.

1.Coming to the realisation that as much as I hate to admit it what I eat is a choice, my head doesn't control me, nor does a craving. I have to take the time to think about what I want to put in my mouth and the reasons behind it. I can eat what ever I want to but is that really what I want to do. I like to think that my cravings control me and there are times when my cravings are so strong it becomes a physical thing and impacts on my mood and interactions with others. I let these feelings and cravings take control of me and I don't fight them.

2. A friend of mine sent me an email, that really spoke to me. "
What I'm trying to do is relax, stop thinking and just be, over thinking is definitely my big vice! Always going straight to the negative!! My friend who passed away last week uses to tell herself everyday that she's beautiful, courageous, inspirational etc she had a big list she had written down of all the things she is and her hubby read them all out at her funeral, it was the most amazing thing to hear someone speak like that of themselves coz it takes guts to believe in yourself like that and that is how I'm trying to live! You should try it too, life is too short to focus on all the negatives coz u are the only one who thinks it xxxxx "
Life really is to short and you never know what is around the corner. The idea of having a list of things I like about myself and of believing in myself  is so foreign to me because I don't, I find it really confronting to think of something good about myself and yet I am starting to see just how important this is.

3. I spent some time on a facebook page called smashfit.!/SmashFit 
There were some posts on there that really struck a cord for me. I will share a couple.
  • You have to get rid of the notion of DEPRIVATION.
    You are not deprived because can't eat donuts, candy, or a big mac. I know you want them, but you don't need them.

    What you DEPRIVING yourself of, is that BODY you crave, the energy you try to coffee-up, and the health that keeps you going and glowing from every angle. I know the food tastes good and your taste"buds" are happy,but for the 10 minutes your buds get to be happy, your body has hours of filtering, digesting and *storing* to do. Do this over and over in one single day and your body won't be very happy with your "buds". Of course you should indulge from time to time, but not every day, all the time. Then you're just depriving yourself of your health.... and your best you.
    -Heather Frey
    So you have MOTIVATION but feel weak on the willpower.

    That is, you're motivat...ed to workout but don't have the willpower to turn away dessert. To bring these two power sources together and turn them into one takes, well, motivation and willpower. BUT, if you have one, you certainly have the strength to conquer the other. At the center of your motivation is a GOAL, ie to get smaller, to get leaner, to build muscle, to run faster, etc. To conjure up your willpower, you have to *include* in your motivation package. You make yourself workout when you don't feel like it because you can envision what you want.

    Willpower is no different - you have to ENVISION what you want in the same way and know that turning down the donuts and passing on the pizza IS part of the goal. MOTIVATE yourself to walk away, make a better choice, or realize you're not even hungry.

    Here are 3 Simple ways to Wake Up Your Willpower:
    1. Pictures and/words. I've posted this before but it's a great brain-jolter - Put motivating words and/or pictures on your phone, in your purse, in your wallet, on your desk, in the kitchen, in your kids room, by the TV, wherever you think you might feel weak, post a reminder.

    2. Set your treat meal (or dessert) at the beginning of the week. It gives you something to look forward to and when you have it, there will be absolutely no guilt. That feeling alone is worth your willpower.

    3. See food as a means to your fabulous end! Don't let sugar, fat, salt and chemicals stand in the way who you truly are.

    -Heather Frey
So now that I have some idea on why I am struggling with food what am I going to do to try and address that.
 I have put a note on my phone to come up at 9am everyday that says "I am not controlled by food, I am worthy of everything I dream of. I will eat food that supports me to reach my goals."
 I feel like I need to spend a period of time each night focusing on what I have achieved for the day and the goals I have for the next day.
Challenge myself to try new things, to find my passion to start to feel and not hide myself away.
 To start my list of things I like about myself.

1 comment:

  1. I think I might steal the list idea Danni... There are so many things I like about myself and I need to focus on those rather than the things I don't like.